Life Repair

My wife and I have been married now for 22 years. We have 3 kids and a great life together. In 22 years we have never had a fight, we do not argue and we do not tromp all over each other’s buttons.

There are those out there who do not believe me when I tell them this but it is true. I am very proud of this record and there is no reason why we will not grow old together in marital bliss as each other’s best
friend.

My advice to any newly wed is this: “It takes two people to fight or argue.”

All it takes to have a peaceful marriage is to use your ears instead of your mouth. Yes we get ruffled with each other occasionally but it never goes forward into the argument or fight.

The reason for this is simple. If one of us is upset the other one listens and allows the upset to come out without becoming part of it. Just listen and let it be voiced. When the upset has been communicated then you can have your say “if you need to”. Most often you will not even have to do more than acknowledge the other person and quietly do what ever you can to fix the cause if needed.

It takes two people to fight. One person can’t do it on their own. It just won’t happen unless the second person gets involved. Listening is a vital part of successful communication. All too often the other person  needs to get involved or needs to be right and this is what gets the fight going.

Then the outcome is nothing but upset, vindictiveness and a weakened or broken connection with the one you love when, in reality, you would love to live in peace and harmony together.

Just listen to and acknowledge your partner’s concerns and keep your mouth shut.
See what happens. Try it; I know you will like it.